Mental Health & stuff

Recently there was an annual mental health day in Canada called Bell Let’s Talk.

For those who know anything about me you’ll know I ain’t Canadian but I have a fair few friends from the land of the Cannuck’s and so I was made aware of the campaign to spread awareness for people who suffer from mental health issues.

I wanted to be part of the conversation by letting my friends know that I am someone they can rely on in times of need. Despite the distance I am always available to lend an ear and send messages of positivity.

The sad thing is that, whilst I am here to help anyone who needs it, sometimes I find my words sound hollow. It’s not intentional. It’s easy to sound insincere in text form, in fact, I know that I can sound insincere face to face as well because I’m part robot [Haven’t got a second opinion on that but I’m pretty certain…].

Recently I’ve been in a slump. I wouldn’t call myself depressed but I have a feeling I’m suffering S.A.D. For the past few months I’ve been struggling, inside, to maintain my usual happy-go-lucky mentality and I’ve started to feel like my attempts at writing and basically any ambitions to reach the life I want to live are futile.

So whilst I’m over here telling people that I understand and sending messages which I hope make them feel better I can’t help but feel like a fraud because I, myself, don’t feel better.

Mental health is a constant struggle for a lot of people. Even saying that I feel down in the dumps feels bad because I know that as soon as the sun starts shining again I’ll feel better and I hate that, for a lot of my friends, that won’t be the case.

I’m not here to say that I know how to feel better. I don’t have 5 helpful ways to get out of a slump when you’re starting to spiral into bad thoughts, I’m just here to say… What? I don’t know.

I suppose I just want people to know that depression, feelings of sadness, any kind of mental anguish, is hard and yes it’s great to have days dedicated to raising awareness it’s more important to stop waiting to talk about things and just tell people [if you want to] that you’re not feeling great because conversations need to be longer than awareness days last.

Sorry if this post annoys you or I say something that offends anyone. I’m also sorry if it makes NO SENSE!

Sam

ps. if you’re struggling with thoughts and feelings you don’t have to struggle alone. Talk to your GP or friends and family. There are also many websites which can help. You ain’t alone, kids.