Two things happened recently. I followed my own advice and unplugged. It gave me time and clarity and also an itch to get back to internet work.
I also turned 30.
Even writing that felt BIG. I am a 30 year old woman. I’m not a kid any more, guys, I’m a fully fledged adult. Granted I still live at home (because WTF are mortgages all about) but I am now fully grown. It happened.
I realise this isn’t a big deal to some. I didn’t want it to be a big deal for me. It was.
Ageing is still something that terrifies me; I’m very aware of time passing, being late, the sun rising and setting rules me in ways I wish it wouldn’t. Alas, I am aware that time doesn’t really exist but I can’t help but think of how I’m this age and other people my age are accomplished.
Turning 30 didn’t just bring with it this fear of time slipping through my fingers though, it also brought with it a comfort. I am not unhappy with how I look. Sure, I’d like to shed some lb’s and be fitter but that’s always a work in progress for me. This past week I’ve actually felt more comfortable in my own skin. I went to work without makeup the other day and I’ve started walking in the rain without an umbrella and I don’t care what happens to my hair.
These things might not be the mark of being an adult to some but to me I feel like I’m there.
I’ve also pinpointed some pretty major targets for my life; things I was struggling with to do with starting my own business and working on creative projects. My feet have found the ground and they just started running without me asking them to.
Others have told me that 30 is when life begins. I was doubtful. I no longer am.
Here’s to a new chapter!
Sam
(side note; my puppy also just turned 1. Pretty big year for both of us!)
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